"Genus Tulipa Sub Rosa"
Kristin Abraham
Acrylic - 24 Inches x 30 Inches
|
Genus Tulipa Sub Rosa
(Tulip Secret)
24 x 30"
acrylic on canvas
Habitat Gallery, Denver, CO
Is it Utah, or just another self-portrait? This painting originates with fossils and tulips. Dinosaur skeletons resurface throughout the state and tulips blanket an eerily spotless Salt Lake City. What is hidden beneath perfect rows of flowers?
A public facade is lifted today. The repugnant infliction is no longer concealed. Belief that all is okay is shattered by a slash in stained canvas. Tormenting motions of a loathing mind prompt
the trembling of limbs. Crimson lips turn gray as a breathless mouth pleads. Sorrow is not seen among swollen eyes. Reveal. What does the pristine tulip veil with its fleeting life? Suffocate the foreboding. Emerge from the earth. Release poisons from exposed roots. Chew the pigment back into lips. Show no sign of pain. It is now the hour to be okay.
The words above are written in a window of the canvas. That window was opened when sadness and frustration pierced the surface with a paintbrush. An almost finished painting took a sharp turn with the overwhelming pain of phone calls and emails. There is no escaping the invasion of my blood.
My mind was flooded with tormenting memories from my childhood. While reliving these emotions, I kept painting. After all, I only have two days to finish this piece if we want to keep our schedule. The thoughts became too much for my aching hand, and I turned from painting a delicate tulip, to cutting a hole through the fabric.
We have been on the road for almost six months, and there is nothing else that I would rather be doing. I am living my dream. A major realization that I am coming to terms with is that I can only cover my pain with flowers for so long. Hiding behind steady eyes is a confused child, who, never learning how to communicate, buried her voice in drawings. I am ready to accept and share who I am. There is so much beauty, and ugliness alike. Some may not understand, but the window is open. It took entirely too long to exit this masquerade. There is no more glass to look through and the masks have lost their sequins. A finished painting illustrates this transition. This is Utah, and this is a self-portrait. This is Genus Tulipa Sub Rosa . . . Tulip Secret.
|